his eyes were twitter-blue as they stared out into the yahoo-purple and youtube-red clouds over a facebook-blue sea dotted with the broken deviantart-green tree branches. and then his eyes darkened to tumblr-blue speckled with wikipedia-grey as he turned to his fiery fox. “let’s begin,” he said, his voice like chrome. “let’s begin exploring this internet.” and they binged off into the setting sun at a google miles per hour.
how do u get ur grades up in like 6 minutes
*purposely drop something in front of my crush*
And here we can see the Blogger in her natural habitat.
The blogger is a shy, docile creature…
… that prefers the darkness…
… and tends to be wary of the outside world.
The Blogger rarely sleeps, and when it does, it does so in seemingly random places.
We have attempted to understand the dietary habits of the Blogger…
… but to no avail.
I am so glad this is back
what it looks like:
what it feels like:
having thick ass hair is such a pain i just want smooth thin silky beautiful hair that waves in the wind while the sun shines elegantly in the background
disclaimer: i do not have hair on my ass. i was referring to hair on my head, thanks
Best response to the “are you on your period?” question goes to Leonardo DiCaprio
and still no Oscar
|90s Animal Planet:||Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!|
|2013 Animal Planet:||ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!|
|90s History Channel:||Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!|
|Early 2000's History Channel:||So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?|
|2013 History Channel:||Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens|
|2014 History Channel:||Was Hitler an Alien?|
never ask white people what their ethnicity is unless you wanna hear a list of every european country and meaningless fractions